Going through a stillbirth is a devastating experience. I felt so guilty (and still do) that my body let my son down, so sad that very few people got to see William, and even that I will never know the colour of his eyes. After five days in hospital I was desperate to leave, but I will never forget that moment in the car when I realised I was going home without my baby.

 

Throughout this horrible ordeal, the care and support I received from the Silver Start unit was second to none. One of the really important things for me was that my partner was able to stay with me the entire time, which was a huge comfort and something we both needed. 

 

The work of the Silver Star Society, John Radcliffe, Oxford

In early 2012 my brother in law, Simon, contacted me to say he would like to complete a charity cycle ride from John O Groats to Land’s End in memory of William, and asked me to select a cause to fundraise for. After some research I came across the Silver Star Society (also based at the John Radcliffe hospital) and their campaign to help fund Professor Redman's research into decoding pre-eclampsia.

The society's work really struck a chord with me and my partner. There is still so little known about this condition, and I felt we owed it to William to share his story and do what we could to prevent other parents going through what we had. The kindness of those who work for the Silver Star helped us during our darkest days, and we wanted to give something back.

 

In addition to helping fund important research projects, the Silver Star Society works hard to 'make things better for Silver Star mothers and their families' and now also supports all areas of the Women’s Centre at the John Radcliffe . They do this in a number of ways: by appealing for 'tiny' knitwear so that mothers of premature babies have something to dress their newborn in, and by furnishing special 'suite rooms', where mothers can stay with their partner during difficult times. Having stayed in one of these rooms myself after William’s death, I know how important they are. The society also helps to provide the unit with specialist medical equipment to care for expectant mothers going through all types of high risk pregnancies – not just those with pre-eclampsia. The charity were called upon during the Covid-19 pandemic to provide specialist equipment for mothers to be to use in the safety of their own home too. 

 

Fundraising for the Silver Star Society

Since Simon’s charity cycle ride, we have made fundraising for the society an annual priority. We’ve had AMAZING support and together with family and friends have organised or taken part in a 24 mile swim, 10K urban assault course, an abseil off the top of the John Radcliffe hospital, a quiz night, William’s summer fete, a pirates and princess children's party a prosecco & pamper evening, and more recently sponsored walks and scooter rides .To date, we have raised around £32,000 for the Silver Star Society, and fully intend to keep going! The pandemic has hit the small charity hard, with a number of their main fundraising events over the last 18 month, like the 2020 London marathon being cancelled or postponed. It’s now more than ever that the silver star society needs our help to continue the work they do!

 

Life after William

Following William, I have gone on to have two more beautiful children - Toby who is early nine, and Neve who is Six. Throughout both pregnancies I was cared for by the Silver Star unit.

 

If you’re interested in finding out more about the silver star society and how you can support them, please take a look at their Facebook page.